funscopic view of life

Who is a vegetarian?- If the definition is 'inclusive' such as 'anyone who eats vegetables'- then it applies to everybody and not just to 'rabbits' among us. Conventionally of course the term is more 'exclusive'- to indicate those who eat only vegetables. A more generous definition would include those who eat eggs and perhaps those who occasionally indulge in chicken/meat-eating on the sly. God has denied canines to 'Rabbits' but gave incisors in addition to canines to the carnivorous animals- apparently even the big cats need the incisors to scrape the meat off the bones. By virtue of possessing both incisors and canines, man is equipped to be a meat or a vegetable eater. So it it appears to be a matter of choice to stick to only vegetarian food- a rather personal choice. I was born in a traditional vegetarian family and stuck to vegetarianism throughout. I had of course many relations who on the sly or openly indulge in meat eating. I must say ...

For Chennai, the description of seasons is - hot, hotter and hottest. The so called winter lasts all of 2 months. But to experience what one may call the chill of the winter, one may need to drive at a good speed on a two wheeler at 5 am with half sleeves or no sleeves and no helmet. It is almost like 'Summer" is speaking to us and saying, 'I am the lord of Chennai seasons. I permit an occasional rain but definitely no cold'. Add to it the humidity that does not let the sweat evaporate and you have the perfect conditions for wet and smelly bodies. Have you travelled in the local train or bus or even the air conditioned metro train in summer? More than the heat and humidity it is the smell of sweat that overpowers you. Imagine a 5-footer standing next to a 6-footer who lifts his hand to hold onto the overhead rail and wearing half sleeve or no sleeve top. There is now a direct route from the sudoriferous glands of the axilla (scientific name for sweat glands of armpit) ...

 IPL is back. For the next 2 months there is ample entertainment as long as one enjoys the game and is able to quickly mute the TV when the ads come on and unmute when the game is telecast. Watching the match from home has a lot of advantages. One can sit in the comfort of air conditioned environment; go to toilet any time without requesting people to give way; criticise any player or team without the worry of one's neighbour giving one a nasty look or worse till beat one up. But the most important advantage is that at any stage one can stop the play by the simple press of a button. One does not want to continue to watch when the home team is losing. In addition at crucial moments, it is easy to take an ostrich approach and not watch the match and return to the room after ensuring that the home team has indeed made it to home safely. During these times dinner is consumed in the living room by default- a luxury often denied by the disciplinarian spouse. However, not all is hunky dor...

The bride and the groom got married with friends and relations around Only now they got to know each other - true and unbound Off they went to Singapore for honeymoon Alas the bride could not see clearly the moon Surrounded was she by smoke from the husband's fag 'Chimney' was the groom's new name tag She cleaned and cooked at home and matched him at the job While he warmed the couch and had the fire-stick in his gob When the children came and the family grew She remained the sole crew Managing the family, home and work was the dutiful wife Multifunctional like a Swiss knife One day the lady was unwell and slept through the day The husband was devastated, but continued to puff and pray Expected he for his elder daughter to run the home Alternate idea she had under her dome Handed was he a knife, board and vegetables to cut With a snip the cigarette became a fireless butt Learnt he, to knead the dough, make roti and a curry Cleaned the room and puffed the poori in a hurr...

There was this bridegroom His bride, he tried to groom She laid on him well with a broom The marriage was on the verge of a doom To make the marriage again bloom The groom took to products of loom He bought for her designer attire And adorned her with yellow metal and sapphire The broom stayed in the corner The threat remained however Then came the apple of the eye of the couple With it came more problems on the double If things go wrong, it is all due to his fault If things go right, it is despite his fault The baby girl grew into a beautiful maiden To be swept off her feet by a dashing swain On the day of the wedding, the man took aside the groom And gave the following advise to avoid future gloom Never try to correct your bride Lest you have wheals on your hide Replace the traditional broom With a vacuum cleaner to clean the room Makes it more difficult to wield as a weapon Even if she is in a difficult mood to reason Remember she is right in everything You better agree or there is ...

 For most men, haircut is an essential ritual unless one has joined the 'Hippie cult'; is making an offering of his hair to a temple or is plain lazy. After a hair cut the 'decent mowed lawn look' lasts only for a few days and then the basic indiscipline in growth surfaces transforming the hair into a forest. If only the hair grows uniformly all over, the mowed lawn look will remain except that the boundaries are shifted a little further on to the forehead, ears and neck. In my childhood the barber used to come home on Sundays. He will come on a Sunday of his convenience and so every male member in the family has a hair cut (whether one needs or not). The barber and his victims squat on the floor. He uses first a mechanical trimmer with squeeze handles. Once in a while the hair gets caught in the trimmer and gets yanked out leaving patches of hairless scalp. Our view of the happenings is through a broken hand held mirror (held by the victim). With the squatting position...