The odours of summer

For Chennai, the description of seasons is - hot, hotter and hottest. The so called winter lasts all of 2 months. But to experience what one may call the chill of the winter, one may need to drive at a good speed on a two wheeler at 5 am with half sleeves or no sleeves and no helmet. It is almost like 'Summer" is speaking to us and saying, 'I am the lord of Chennai seasons. I permit an occasional rain but definitely no cold'. Add to it the humidity that does not let the sweat evaporate and you have the perfect conditions for wet and smelly bodies. Have you travelled in the local train or bus or even the air conditioned metro train in summer? More than the heat and humidity it is the smell of sweat that overpowers you. Imagine a 5-footer standing next to a 6-footer who lifts his hand to hold onto the overhead rail and wearing half sleeve or no sleeve top. There is now a direct route from the sudoriferous glands of the axilla (scientific name for sweat glands of armpit) of the 6-footer to the nostrils of the poor 5-footer. The little guy unfortunately cannot retaliate.

One day I was caught in a metro train full of runners returning after completing their race. All the perfumes of Arabia would stand no chance against this combined onslaught on my olfactory senses. Just like the noses of the runners, I let my nose get so overpowered that it rapidly lost all sensation. After that I was ready for any number of runners- direct from the track with all guns blazing (both arms up and sleeveless too).

What I was not prepared for however were the wet bodies. In their feverish discussion about the race they were hardly mindful of their waving hands caressing other passengers in the compartment. I urgently desired technology transfer from self driving cars to clothes so that alarms can ring if any one approaches to within 6 inches of the other person.  I did not want to hold the sweat laden overhead rail. So I bravely balanced by adopting an akimbo stance. But trust the metro to swerve at the inopportune time and I ended up wiping the sweat of many runners around me with my white full sleeves shirt (yes- cotton, starched and ironed) and light brown pant (yes again- highly absorbent cotton).

Have you ever observed that deodorants and perfumes are used by people who travel in air conditioned cars and dash directly into their air conditioned offices. The deodorants are hardly put to any stress on them (or for that matter on the actors and actresses who advertise for them). The best advertisement for a deodorant will be if they can make a runner not have body odour at the end of a marathon in Chennai in the month of May. I always wondered whether a deodorant just masks the odour or actually reduce it. If it is only masking, it would be a perpetual war between the good and bad odour- something like the confusing smells one gets from eateries located next to Couum river (Chennai specific) or public toilets (generic). Mercifully, the deodorants apparently kill the bacteria that thrive on the organic compounds in the sweat and thus reduce the odour.

One situation that appears especially piquant is when you sit in the back seat of a car and the driver (poor fellow cannot be expected to keep the AC on when he is waiting for the customer) is the victim of the cruel summer and is radiating the summer odour copiously. As far as the passenger is concerned, it is like being gassed in close chambers (of the Nazi fame). You are lucky if you are alone and can shift to other side  instead of sitting behind the driver. If not, you silently suffer or ask the window to be lowered on some pretext. An autorikshaw on the other hand gives adequate ventilation. In addition (since there is no air conditioning) the passenger can retaliate in equal measure- it is now your smell Vs my smell.

Seriously, the government should consider issuing free deodorants to all taxi drivers (Uber and Ola included) as an election freebie.